Leading Our Children to Christ

I’ve had something on my mind to share for probably 2 years now, and the time just didn’t seem right to share it, but it’s been on my mind again, and it’s like the Lord said now’s the time, so I’m just going to go for it, and I pray it is a blessing and help to you. It’s something that I don’t hear people talk about very much, but it’s also something that is on every single Christian parents' mind and that is, “How on earth and when do I help my child accept Jesus Christ as his Savior?”

This is something that is so scary, at least it was for me, so I assume it is for other parents as well. I was scared I would lead her to a false profession of faith so that she would doubt her salvation later on in life. But at the same time, I was scared to death that she would never get saved if I didn’t kind of push her.

Kids who grow up in Christian homes and who go to church every time the doors are open, really never remember a time in their lives when they didn’t believe in Jesus, and what He did for them on the cross. So, if they believe that’s all they need right? What more is there?

I think the key that so often gets overlooked with children is true heart-changing repentance. It’s seeing the sin for what it really is—ultimately seeing sin how God sees it and understanding that THAT is what put Jesus on the cross. It is so common for kids who grow up in Christian homes to make a profession 2, 3, even 4 times before they actually get saved for real. This happened to me, and my husband, and a lot of my friends too! I think it’s because they KNOW they need to be saved, but they are still missing something.

I was talking to E several months ago, and she said, “I’ve prayed thousands of times that Jesus would come into my heart and save me. I don’t understand why he won’t save me!” It’s so hard to see them struggle with this. And it’s also so hard not to just hurry up and lead them in them in a prayer so that they can say they are saved. But we have to take the time to get them to realize that salvation is of the heart. It’s not the prayer that saves you. It’s the heart change. I told her so many times in the past few years when she would ask about salvation, that, "you have head salvation, you don’t have heart salvation." Salvation is of the heart. It’s something that God has to do inside of you.

So the question is, what do we as parents do then? When they come to us about wanting to get saved, but they don’t have the heart change yet, what do we do? If a child does not make a profession the first time he ever talks to someone about salvation, he will come to you over and over and over again because he is always hearing about getting saved at church and at home. And, of course, he’s going to want to get saved. No one WANTS to go to hell. And it can be so confusing for us as parents because we want them to get saved so badly, but at the same time how do we know when they are ready?!

That is such a hard place to be. It's where we were for the last several years. But God answered the question for us, and to see how God works is just so miraculous and awesome!

A couple of years ago, I ordered the book “For Instruction in Righteousness.” It is a fantastic resource, and I would highly recommend you getting it. When I first opened it, I glanced at the very first page, and I read the words from 2 Timothy 3:15 which I have read a hundred times before, but they never meant anything. But that day, those words just smote my heart, and I knew exactly what I needed to do to lead my daughter to the point of accepting Christ as her Savior. It was like handwriting on the wall. It was so clear!

2 Timothy 3:15 says And that from a child thou hast known the holy Scriptures, which are able to make thee wise unto salvation…

And I was like, this can’t be of me at all. It has to be ALL GOD. The Holy Scriptures will make her wise unto salvation! So I have to do whatever I can to get God’s Word into my child.

And that's not it. I kept coming across more scripture just like it!

The next verse says scripture is profitable for reproof, for correction, and for instruction in righteousness.

Proverbs 16:6 By mercy and truth iniquity is purged…

Psalm 119:9 How shall a young man cleanse his way? By taking heed thereto according to thy word.

And verse 11 says Thy word have I hid in mine heart, that I might not sin against thee.

Psalm 37:31 The law of God is in his heart; none of his steps shall slide.

Hebrews 4:12 The word of God is quick, and powerful, and sharper than any two-edged sword…it’s a discerner of the thoughts and intents of the heart.

The word of God is powerful, and God would say, “It’s not you, it’s me. Let me do the work. You get the Bible into her, but let me work on her heart.”

The only answer I could get to the question, “How can she get saved Lord? She believes on you, but she’s lacking the heart change. She’s so confused and ultimately, so am I! How Lord?” And my answer...just give her the Bible.

And so that’s what we started doing. And I know there are many different ways families do this, but what is so key is giving the children straight Bible. Bible story books are great! They are so important, but Bible story books are not God’s inspired words. I hope you understand what I’m saying. Don’t throw out the Bible storybooks, but make sure you are giving children scripture straight from the God’s Word as well. That is what is going to change their hearts.

Some different ways we did this were that we started having her listen to the Bible.is app every morning for her personal devotions. We started this I think when she was about four. Bible.is is awesome because it’s dramatized, so there’s music and different voices for different characters, and it just brings the Bible to life for even a very young child. It’s so neat because E has memorized so much scripture just from listening to her favorite passages over and over again. It’s just an amazing way to get a lot of scripture into her in a very short amount of time, and the parent doesn’t have to do any work except for turning the Bible app on for them. Don’t replace this with Family Bible Time or anything. This is just perfect for personal devotions especially for children who can’t read on their own yet. And then of course, they can transition to reading the Bible for themselves once they are fluent readers.

Another thing we started becoming very focused on, was to have Family Bible Time. It’s so easy to let this slip if it’s not a priority. In the first few years of E’s life, we unfortunately, did let this slip, but once God convicted our hearts about getting God’s Word into our daughter, we really had no other choice but to make it a priority.

And when I say Family Bible time, don’t get stuck on the fact that the whole family has to be there in order to make it happen. I think this is what I got so hung up on in those early years because my husband would be gone, and in the back of my mind, I thought, “Well, that’s his responsibility, so I’m just going to let him do it.” More often than not, he wasn’t able to do it. Well, if he’s not here, then that responsibility falls on me, and so if I’m not doing it, then I’m the one that’s wrong. So we finally got the sense knocked into us, or maybe I should say I finally got the sense knocked into me, so now we’ll have family Bible time at a certain time every day; if Dad’s here, he joins us, and if he’s not, we still have it. That way it’s happening every day like it should be.

During those family Bible times, we used this book, “For Instruction in Righteousness” specifically to convict E about her sin. This book (find out more about it here) takes basically all the childhood sins you could possibly think of and gives verses for each sin. It was just so easy to go, “Ok, she really struggled with disobedience today, so tomorrow we are going to read verses about disobedience.” It was just so amazing to see how God’s Word convicted her, and it really helped her to see her sin as God sees it.

Another thing we do is to memorize scripture, especially about sins that she might be having a problem with. And this is where the Child Training Bible really comes in handy (find out more about it here), because you can easily find a passage on a certain topic, and they are easy to review. The awesome thing about learning verses according to topic or according to sin, is that you can really see the full effect of what God thinks about this sin. So, for example when we’re dealing with arguing, we have learned from “A fool’s lips enter into contention,” that fools argue. And then of course that brings us around to asking, “Do you want to be a fool? That is what God thinks about you when you argue.” And again, just letting God’s Word do the work...I cannot get over how powerful it is.

One of the biggest things to understand is that leading a child to the Savior doesn’t start when they start asking questions. It starts long before that when they are just babies and toddlers by getting God’s Word into their hearts. It takes faith on the parents’ part—so much faith. We WANT them to be saved. We WANT them to go to heaven when they die, so it’s natural for us to rush it, and it’s so easy for us, when they come to us the first time to be like, “Ok, yes, let’s pray.” But God says, “Give them Scripture, and let me do the work in their heart.”

So the next question is, what do I do when they come to me about salvation? Because I cannot tell you how many times I went through the plan of salvation with E, and then I was wondering, “Ok, what next?” She would sometimes listen and sometimes be very distracted. She obviously wasn’t convicted, so it was just weird and confusing. And SO MANY TIMES, actually EVERY SINGLE TIME I felt like I had no clue what I was doing.

The best advice I ever got from a friend was to push them off and push them off until they have no other choice but to get saved. And that is so extremely scary to do. And every time I did it, I prayed, “Lord, am I doing the right thing?” And, I’m scared to death telling you that, because I don’t want to come across as meaning to push them off until it’s too late. But the thing about this, is that you MUST rely on the Holy Spirit to let you know when they are ready…when they’ve made that change of heart. They have to get to the point where they realize that their sin is SO wicked, and their sin is sending them to hell, and there’s only ONE way for them to get to heaven.

Yes, they have believed in God for their whole entire lives; yes, they could probably tell you the whole plan of salvation themselves; yes they’ve probably told their neighborhood friends about Jesus many times, but that’s not getting them anywhere. It reminds me of the verses in Matthew 7 where it says, “Lord, Lord, have I not prophesied in thy name? and in thy name have cast out devils? And in thy name done many wonderful works? And then will I profess unto them, I never knew you: depart from me, ye that work iniquity.” And we do not want that for our kids.

One book that was extremely helpful to me in clarifying how to deal with your children about salvation is called Training Your Children to Turn out Right by David Sorenson. One chapter in the book is specifically about this...Chapter 9 called “Fruit Inspection.” He just covers so many good things like why children doubt their salvation, and how to deal with confusion. There are just some really good points that help get everything straightened out in our own minds. That is THE BEST I’ve ever seen anyone explain dealing with your children about salvation. Like I said at the beginning, it’s not something I’ve really seen people talk about much at all. So, I’d highly recommend you get that book even if it’s just for that one chapter.

I’ve seen so many children grow up in Christian homes and leave everything that they ever knew, and it makes me wonder, “Is it just because it was only head salvation and not heart salvation?” Raising children to first, get saved, and then to live to love and serve Christ with all of their hearts and souls and minds, is our greatest responsibility as Christian parents. So let’s remember Timothy, that as a child he knew the Holy Scriptures, and they made his wise unto salvation. I pray for you, and I pray for my child and hopefully future children that God would bring them to salvation and then perfect that work which he started in them.

If you are a visual learner, you can watch or listen on Instagram instead: Part 1 here, Part 2 here and Part 3 here.